Outside the sun is shining, it seems like heaven ain't far away

A very happy 21st birthday to my girlfriend Nur Sakinah. I should be skinned alive for posting this minutes too late.

I love you. I love you with every ounce of energy in my body. All my life I've drifted along, acting a fool, never thinking I could feel so strongly for anyone like I do now. I can't imagine how you could comprehend anything I say or stand how I behave. I'm simply a child, stuck in a mans body.

Being with you is revolutionary. I never thought I could feel this strong about any one person. Everyday I feel like an undeserving schlob but I thank every lucky star that's shining from where I'm standing to have crossed and joined paths with someone as wonderful, as funny, as intelligent as you.

You deserve so much happiness for the rest of your life. I want you to know that.

Juriah bte Abdul Rashid, or as I and the rest of my family lovingly call her, Mama Ju. And how apt. Mama, a mother. Because she really was like a mother to me, a mother to my brothers. A mother to my whole family and anyone related. A mother to everyone she met and touched their hearts with the warmth and kindness of her soul.

She always told me of how proud she was of me, even at my lowest, even when I didn't deserved to be praised. It was her optimism and generosity that influenced how I live my life today. Not to be afraid of letting your heart beat outside your chest and let it be exposed to the elements, because if you're brave enough to put yourself out there for the world to see your emotions and your fears, you'll always find the people others have spent their entire lives searching.

I couldn't bear to see her in such pain. Yet in her final hours, coming closer to the grace of god she longed to be a part of, Mama Ju held my hand and whispered "I love you". It was all I've ever wanted to hear from her and more. In tears, I told her that I love her too. "Sayang, don't cry for me. Instead pray for me." That will always be the last memory I'll have of her.

She never left. She lives through me. She lives through my family. And she will continue living in the hearts and minds of my children and my children's children.

God loves her more, because she loves us as much as he does.

I am surrounded by idiots. Dyslexic, incompetent, incoherent idiots. Eagerly anticipating my trip to Bandung on the 4th. I deserve another holiday trip for putting up with all this bullshit. Bali anyone?

Cinderella bout to lose the glass off her foot
And when I find it is when I find you
And we can do the things we never got the time to
Better late than never
But never late is better
They tell me time is money, well we’ll spend it together
I’m down for whatever
You just lead the way
We go to dinner you don’t even look at me to pay
Mature women with more than me were the first to tempt me

Still miserable. You'd think after countless entries about my quality of life being so sombre that I'd grow a pair. Well I have so shut up.

No other good reason to wipe the dust off my livejournal other then being sick and tired of micro blogging sites *cough*tumblr*cough*. Not much use really then to just find cool ass pictures of
1)old vintage shit
2)random shit with random text imposed all over it like it's suppose to mean diddly squat
3)fashionable shit that half of you won't wear
4)gifs taken from movies or tv shows to describe your current mood status
5)memes

I'll have to admit, I do enjoy memes.